Episode 4.4
originally broadcast October 6, 1973
Written by Treva Silverman
Directed by Jay Sandrich
Storyline: Lou and Edie go to a marriage counselor, who decides that a trial separation might be the best solution for them. Lou tells Mary, Ted, and Murray the bad news. Several days later, Edie packs her bags. But before she leaves, she tells Lou that he is not the reason she's leaving. She wants more out of life... a chance to be her own person, something she can't be if she's married to him. They part ways, with Lou saying that if she ever changes her mind, he'll take her back.
Memorable Quotations/Exchanges:
LOU: Where I was...I was at the barber's! Yeah! I went to the barber's today.
TED: Heh, heh, heh. You didn't go to any barber today. What was it, Lou? A little love in the afternoon? If you went to the barber today, how come I don't see any talc on your neck? Furthermore, I don't see any of those little tiny hairs on your collar. Where are those little tiny hairs?
MARY: Ted!
TED: I feel like Columbo, here!
LOU: Ted, get away from me! I went to the barber today, and I don't wanna hear another word about it!
TED: Oh, sure Lou.
LOU: Mary, I wasn't at any barber today. But it wasn't what Ted thought it was, either.
MARY: Oh, I was sure it wasn't!
LOU: If it was that, it wouldn't take four hours.
LOU: Okay, you're going to have to tell me something to break down the barrier. Something so intimate that it's hard to even think about much less talk about.
MARY: Something intimate? Okay. About a month ago, I came home from work and it was really late and I was exhausted. I found a note from Rhoda under my door, which said that she wanted to see me right away, and it was important. What I did was pretend that I hadn't seen the note.
LOU: That's nothing, what you just said! Nothing! It's not an intimate thing, it's nothing! You're gonna hafta tell me the real stuff, a really intimate thing.
MARY: Mr. Grant, by an 'intimate thing', the only thing I can think of that you mean is....(calling out to Murray) Murray, Mr. Grant would like to talk to you!
LOU: It all started four, four-and-a-half months ago, on a Sunday. Yeah...on a Sunday. Listen, I wanna thank you again. It really helped.
MARY: Well, if you wanna talk about it some more, I'll be around. (phone rings)
LOU: (to phone) Yeah? Okay. (to Murray and Mary) Edie is out there! Right now. Okay, okay. We're all going to act very natural. Let's walk out! Wait, wait! Okay, okay. Let's just do this so it looks natural. Murray, Mary, me.
MURRAY: Boy, girl, boy. (they all walk out)
TED: Lou, you lucky bum, you. Edie, if you ever decide to ditch this guy, you know who's waiting in the wings! The old silver fox himself!
LOU: Okay, Ted, okay.
TED: Stranger things have happened! You may just decide to kick this bum out!! Who needs him?!
LOU: Okay, Ted! That's enough!
TED: Remember, Edie, I'll be waiting!
MURRAY: Well, if that doesn't keep 'em together, nothing will.
(Knock on Mary's door)
RHODA: Was that a knock?
MARY: I couldn't tell!
RHODA: I couldn't tell either.
LOU: (from outside the door) It was a knock.
MARY: Can I take your coat?
LOU: No. Go on with what you were doing, don't pay any attention to me.
RHODA: (reading a magazine love quiz) Question number two.
LOU: Some life.
MARY: Yeah, it sure is.
LOU: Does she know what I mean by 'some life'?
RHODA: Actually, Lou, Mary told me a little bit about it. Everything.
MARY: Mr. Grant, I know how you respect privacy, but I figure that we're all friends here and that there's no reason to keep any secrets.
LOU: No, no, that's quite alright. We shouldn't have any secrets. By the way, Rhoda, Mary was home last month when you left a note under the door. She just pretended she wasn't. Mary, Rhoda, you ever go to a marriage counselor?
RHODA: Not me.
LOU: We showed up there around noon. The couple ahead of us was a basketball center and his wife. I know what their problem is...he's two feet taller than she is. That man isn't gonna help them. Anyway, we sit down in the waiting room, and I said, 'Edie?' She says, 'let's wait until we get inside. So, we go inside, and she pours out 'our' guts to him for an hour. You know what bothers me? Our marriage counselor isn't married. Never has been. (He crosses to kitchen and pours some scotch) He told me to say whatever was on my mind, and I told him that it sort of bothered me that he isn't married. And then he made a little joke. He said, 'you don't have to be a whale to write Moby Dick !' So, that's my life now, Mary. I pay him forty dollars an hour and he tells me he doesn't have to be a whale.
MARY: Well, these marriage counselors really do get results!
LOU: Not mine. He thinks Edie and I should have a trial separation. (long silence) You know, I was sitting alone, having a few, and I thought to myself, 'Why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself? Go get a woman's point of view. Go see Mary!' I was even hoping you'd be here, Rhoda. You know what? You were no help at all!
TED: Hi, guys.
MURRAY: Hi, Ted.
TED: Something's happening here, I can tell by your faces. I hate it when everybody knows something and I don't know it.
LOU: You wanna know everything? Edie's leaving me tonight, Ted. Now you know everything!
TED: Oh, Lou. Lou, Lou! What can I say? What'd you say, Murray?
MURRAY: I said, 'there's nothing to say.'
TED: There's nothing to say, Lou!
LOU: Murray, what do you do and Marie do when you have a problem? Do you fight, do you talk it out?
MURRAY: Let's just say...we go to bed extremely early.
TED: Talk about still waters running deep!
TED: You know how I said to Edie that if she ever decides to dump you that I'd be waiting in the wings? Well, what do I do if she calls, Lou?
EDIE: Those things on the suitcase broke when I tried to fasten them. Those clicky things.
LOU: Those clicky things have no business breaking!
EDIE: Lou...
LOU: Why don't they have a name for those clicky things in the first place? Why is it necessary for a grown man to have to go around saying words like 'clicky things'?
EDIE: Lou, if you're angry, just tell me. You don't have to keep going on about the suitcase.
LOU: (Picks up a tangerine from cornucopia) Angry? At you? Because you're leaving? I'm not angry at you. It's perfectly understandable! You wanna try your little experiment. Why should that make me angry?
EDIE: But you are angry, Lou.
LOU: Edie, why should I be angry? I'd tell you if I was angry. Why should that make me angry? (squeezes the tangerine)
EDIE: If you're not angry, Lou, why are there orange pits all over your arm?
LOU: Pits. Damn pits. Why do they make things with pits in the first place? They don't serve any purpose! Cherries, watermelons, tangerines, all of them. They can all go to hell. Go to hell, oranges! Half the time, all you're thinking about when you're eating them if you should spit the pit out or if you should store the stupid thing in one part of your mouth while you're eating with the other part! You can't even concentrate on what you're eating half the time! And after you're finished eating the damn thing, you have to worry about where you're gonna put the pit. Like, if you put it in an ashtray, it's disgusting. And ashes get all over it. And it doesn't even look like part of a fruit anymore! It looks like some hairy, gray dead thing. And it's even more disgusting! (Very somber now) How can you leave me, Edie? How can you do it?
EDIE: Lou, it's not you. It's me. I'm forty-five years old, Lou. You only go around once, and I want more.
LOU: You only go around once?! That's a beer commercial, Edie. You're telling me you're leaving me for a beer commercial?
EDIE: Lou...
LOU: Edie, you're walking out that door and I still haven't figured out why.
EDIE: Lou, when I married you I was nineteen years old, and I thought you were the most wonderful man I ever met. I still think so. But I want to learn more about the rest of me. Not just the part that's your wife. I want to know what I'd do with a whole week to myself. I want to know what I'd do when I'm scared and depressed...and I don't have you to make it alright again. I may hate it, and I may screw it up, but I want to have time to get to know Edie MacKenzie Grant.
LOU: You're keeping the Grant?
EDIE: I'm keeping the Grant.
LOU: So you don't have to get new stationery?
EDIE: Right.
LOU: (smiling) It's not supposed to turn out this way. I had it all planned out. See, the way it goes is, you change your mind and you don't leave.
EDIE: I came close, Lou. I came so close.
LOU: I love ya, Edie.
EDIE: I love you, Lou.
LOU: And listen, Edie! If you plan to come marchin' back to me, I'm warning you....I'll take you right back.
MARY: So, Mr. Grant, we're all wondering how it's going?
LOU: Not bad, not good. She's coming over Tuesday, we're gonna talk, she sounded fine on the phone. I'm not getting my hopes up. Pass it on.
Audio Files:
1. Lou went to the barber's today!! (303 Kb)
2. Mary tells Lou about something intimate (392 Kb)
3. Some life!! (446 Kb)
4. Moby Dick (286 Kb)
5. Why do they make things with pits? (468 Kb)
6. More on pits (89 Kb)
7. How can you leave me, Edie? (678 Kb)
8. Edie explains why she's leaving (468 Kb)
9. Edie walks out that door (311 Kb)
Credits:
Associate Producer/Production Manager: Lionel A. Ephraim
Music composed and conducted by Pat Williams
Theme music "Love is All Around" written and sung by Sonny Curtis
Director of Photography: Paul Uhl
Assistant Producer: Michael Zinberg
Executive Story Consultant: Treva Silverman
Art Director: Lewis Hurst, Jr.
Film Editor: Douglas Hines
Assistant Director: John C. Chulay
Script Supervisor: Marjorie Mullen
Set Decorator: James Hassinger
Main Title: David Davis
Camera Coordinator: Don Bustany
Gaffer: Sam Ozment
Key Grip: Roy Kight
Property Master: Gene Cox
Makeup: Ben Nye, II
Hairstylist: Donna Cox
Sound Mixer: Cameron McCullough
Music Editor: Ed Norton Music Editing, Inc.
Production Assistant: Cheryl Blythe
Men's Costumes: Don McDonald
Women's Costumes: Leslie Hall
Wardrobe for Mary Tyler Moore furnished by Norman Todd
Trivia: This is the episode with Lou's long speech about "why do they make things with pits in them?"
Rating: 85
Humor: 20
Writing: 21
Acting: 19
Story Concept: 25
Category: Excellent
Comment: A very moving show...one that we'd been expecting for the last three years. For a very few seconds...and only a few, our hearts really go out to the guy when he says, "How can you leave me, Edie? How can you do it?" From the beginning, we knew that Lou and Edie's relationship was troubled. And allusions to the big "separation" scene in the second act of the episode had been coming for years. Lou and Edie had a fight at one of Mary's parties wherein she screamed, "I can take off my own coat, Lou!" then locked herself in the bathroom for the rest of the evening. Earlier, she decided to go back to school to get a degree in home economics. The reasoning behind Edie's leaving Lou is at least slightly disturbing and some may call it somewhat of a cop-out. However, it all works out well in the end. Lou starts dating again, has one or two good flings, and gets a chance to return to his party animal self. And like Mary Richards, Lou Grant very much cherished his space. Lou is heartbroken for awhile...but maybe he didn't exactly need a wife?
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