Episode 4.3
originally broadcast September 29, 1973
Written by Karyl Geld
Directed by Jerry Belson
Storyline: Rhoda stops by WJM and asks Mary if she'd like to go to New York for the weekend for her sister Debbie's wedding. Mary accepts, and they're off. They arrive in the middle of the night at the Morgenstern Bronx apartment, and right off the bat, things start going wrong. Ma and Pa (but especially Ma) try to downplay Debbie's wedding activities because they don't want perennial bachelorette Rhoda to feel badly. Rhoda catches on quickly, is disgusted, and decides to leave and go back to Minneapolis. But before she can go, Ida has Mary read her a touching letter she wrote the day Rhoda was born. The letter reveals just how much Ida loves and cares about her, fighting and discord aside.
Memorable Quotations/Exchanges:
Teaser: (Lou is directing some filmed promos for the Six O'Clock News; Ted is supposed to act like there's a big story coming in on the wire)
TED: (to phone) There's a big story breaking in!
LOU: Ted, we're not using sound!
TED: (mouths the words 'Good bye')
MURRAY: There's a fire downtown.
LOU: Murray, take Ted and shoot him at the fire.
IDA: You will never guess, in a million years, who is in this photo.
MARY: Rhoda!
IDA: Yeah, right.
RHODA: That's me...just when I had reached the age of not dating.
MARTIN: Sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite.
IDA: (very serious) That's a joke. We never had a bug in this house.
RHODA: Hey Mare, look at this! Two ticket stubs from "The Robe"! My first date with a Christian!
February 23rd. Today my mother came into my room and told me that a wonderful thing was going to happen to me...once a month.
MARY: Things from back then, they're so funny now, aren't they?
RHODA: Not yet.
(Ida and Martin stand over Mary, who's asleep on their couch)
MARTIN: Do you suppose she sleeps this late in Minneapolis?
IDA: I don't know!
MARTIN and IDA: Hey, hey! Cockadoodle doo!!!
MARY: Good morning.
IDA: Good morning! Oh, Mary! Martin and I are so glad you came. You know, this isn't going to be an easy visit for Rhoda.
MARY: Yeah, well, coming home is always...
IDA: Well, you know. Her younger sister getting married and all, that's tough, but Martin and I are glad that you, her best friend, are going to be here to support her in her time of real hurt.
MARY: No, no. Mrs. Morgenstern, Rhoda isn't hurt that Debbie is getting married. Can't you see how happy she is?
IDA: She covers up. She's unhappy because she thinks that I think that Rhoda should be getting married.
MARY: That is not true.
IDA: Yes, it is true. I do think Rhoda should be married. Rhoda knows me. She knows there's a pain in my heart this weekend because she isn't getting married. And it's hard to convince Rhoda that the pain is not there. Because there isn't anyone on this block who doesn't know that that pain is there.
MARY: But...
IDA: That's why we've decided not to talk about the wedding or dwell on it.
MARTIN: You see, Mary, we'll just play down the whole thing. It'll be a Sunday just like any other Sunday, except there will be a little ceremony that we don't usually go to. Three hundred fifty people will be coming to dinner, that's all.
IDA: That's the best way to handle it!
MARY: Mrs. Morgenstern, listen to me because I'm going to tell you the truth. Rhoda is delighted that Debbie is getting married. She is delighted. It never even entered her mind to be upset because Rhoda is very happy with her life. So, Mrs. Morgenstern, I am telling you, as Rhoda's best friend, who knows her better than anyone else, she is thrilled that Debbie is getting married, okay?
IDA: (deadpan) Mary....butt out.
RHODA: Debra, I haven't seen your wedding dress yet.
IDA: It's white. (changing the subject hurriedly) Listen, has anyone noticed how thin Rhoda's getting? Huh, Martin, how about that?
MARTIN: Well, she was always thin to me. Even when she was fat, she was thin.
DEBBIE: Rhoda, we'd better get going, the wedding rehearsal starts pretty soon.
IDA: What rehearsal? Aunt Rose can stand in for ya. Go have fun with your friend Mary. We'll wing it. Debbie doesn't mind, do ya Deb?
DEBBIE: (crestfallen) Sure. If ya wanna wing my wedding.
IDA: Just guess where we spent our honeymoon. Go ahead Mary, guess.
MARY: Niagara Falls?
IDA: (disgusted) Yeah, right.
RHODA: (to Mary) Meet me in my bedroom, quick!
IDA: (sotto) Mary, I want you to tell me every word she says to you.
DEBBIE: There's something wrong with Ma. She just told me not to act too happy at my wedding.
RHODA: Mary, I'm okay.
IDA: Well, of course you're okay! You've got a wonderful life out there in Minneapolis. Wonderful friends, wonderful job...it's Debbie here who's making the mistake! She's missin' out on all that freedom.
RHODA: (disgusted) Excuse me, I'm just gonna go take a little walk.
MARY: (standing up, insistent) Rhoda, don't go.
DEBBIE: It's okay, Mary, it's not as dangerous as you think in New York.
MARY: She is going to Minneapolis! (she opens the door in a fit of rage, only to find Aunt Rose)
AUNT ROSE: (very loudly, gushing) Rhoda! Oh, my baby! Debbie! My baby! (hugging Debbie and Rhoda) Oh, my babies! Hi Martin! Hi Ida!
MARTIN and IDA: (they clearly don't like Rose at all) Hi, Rose. (they exit)
AUNT ROSE: Who's this?
DEBBIE: That's Mary, Auntie Rose.
AUNT ROSE: Mary! (wondering who the hell Mary is) Who is she?
RHODA: My friend from Minneapolis.
AUNT ROSE: (gushing again) Mary! She's adorable! Come give your Aunt Rose a hug!
RHODA: It's too late, Ma! Mary already knows about the wonderful thing that happens once a month.
MARY: I think I'd better go.
IDA: Stay, Mary. I want you to stay. I want you to be the judge of this. Judges sit, so sit. (knock on the door)
AUNT ROSE: I can smell trouble a mile off. What's going on in here?
MARY: Well, they're having a talk, and I really don't think they should be disturbed.
AUNT ROSE: Then why are you here?
MARY: I'm the judge.
IDA: Okay, you can go. But before you go, I'd like you to read this. Maybe after you read it, you'll understand your mother a little better.
RHODA: (reading a letter) 'To be read by my darling daughter on the day of her wedding.' This is for Debbie!
IDA: No, it's for you. I wrote it the day you were born. Some mothers would just have rested after such an exhausting day, but...oh Mary, you read it. If she reads it, she'll probably cry.
RHODA: Cry? I won't cry.
IDA: We'll see who won't cry. Sit. (to Mary) Read.
MARY: (reading the letter) 'Dear Marsha...'
RHODA: Who's Marsha?
IDA: It's you. It's a name your father hated.
MARY: 'As you are reading this, I see you standing in your white gown and veil. Well, this certainly has been a big day. My mother wants to name you Rhoda, but I told her that I refuse to let her run my life anymore, Marsha. Oh gee, you're so cute, dark hair and dark eyes. I know you'll be loveable because we are a loveable family.
IDA: Do I see tears?
RHODA: No.
IDA: Yeah, well.
MARY: I just knew you'd be a girl. God has been good to me. The nurses haven't been so nice, but God has been. Now I have everything. A loving husband and a beautiful daughter. Someone once said...
MARTIN: (poking head in the door) Listen, girls....uh oh, 'The Letter'.
MARY: Someone once said, 'a son is a son until he has a wife, but a daughter is a daughter all of her life.' I hope this is true for us, because tonight my imagination is running wild. When you are sweet sixteen, I want you to have a dancing party with an orchestra.
IDA: (offering Kleenex) Need this?
RHODA: No.
IDA: Well, it'll be right here when you do need it.
MARY: And when you are married, I want you to have the most gorgeous wedding in the whole world, with an even bigger orchestra. I hope by then we'll be able to afford those things. Right now, we can't even afford you. Here I already have you married, and you haven't even had your first meal yet. Dear daughter, I love you very much, and even if.... (she hands the letter to Ida)
IDA: And even if I have ten more children, you will still be my favorite because you were my first. Love and kisses, Your Mother.
RHODA: (crying) Oh, Ma!!
IDA: Rhoda please, you know how I hate it when you cry.
TAG: (Scene in newsroom, identical to that in teaser. They're still filming promos.)
MARY: Hi everybody, I'm back! The traffic on the way back from the airport was terrible!
TED: Mary, we're trying to film here!
MURRAY: How was New York?
MARY: Well, I didn't get to see too much of New York. Hey, didn't we get this promo on Friday?
MURRAY: Nope, we have to do it over. That fire we went to turned out to be a false alarm. But if you want some film of Ted asking the fireman to 'ring the bell', we've got it.
LOU: Ready, Ted?!!
TED: Ready, L.G.!!
LOU: Okay. Shoot! Mary and Murray, act like you're busy. Rip the copy off the machine, Ted. Now cross over to the phone, that's right, that's right. Good, Ted. Reeeeeeally good! Oh, don't smile at me when I say 'good'!
TED: Ring ring?
LOU: Ring, ring.
TED: (whispering) What's that?
LOU: Oh, that's perfect, Ted. Wonderful. Now hang up the phone, go get your trenchcoat, and rush out the doors to that big story!
TED: (Pushes on the double doors instead of pulling...he thinks he's locked in and panics)
MARY: Ted, pull. Pull!
Audio Files:
Cockadoodle doo! (136 Kb)
Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite! (109 Kb)
Mary...Butt Out. (134 Kb)
Niagara Falls (124 Kb)
Aunt Rose! (264 Kb)
Wonderful Thing (61 Kb)
I'm the Judge (163 Kb)
The Letter, Part I (435 Kb)
The Letter, Part II (469 Kb)
Pull, Ted! Pull! (116 Kb)
Credits:
Executive Story Consultant: Treva Silverman
Associate Producer: Michael Zinberg
Director of Photography: Paul Uhl
Music Composed and Conducted by Pat Williams
Theme Song "Love is All Around" Written and Sung by Sonny Curtis
Art Director: Lewis E. Hurst, Jr.
Film Editor: Douglas Hines, A.C.E.
Assistant Director: John C. Chulay
Script Supervisor: Marjorie Mullen
Set Decorator: James Hassinger
Main Title: David Davis
Camera Coordinator: Don Bustany
Gaffer: Sam Ozment
Key Grip: Roy Kight
Sound Mixer: Cameron McCullough
Music Editing: Ed Norton Music, Inc.
Property Master: Gene Cox
Makeup Artist: Ben Nye, II
Hair Stylist: Donna M. Cox
Men's Costumes: Don MacDonald
Women's Costumes: Leslie Hall
Assistants to the Producers: Cheryl Blythe, Karen Ziff
Wardrobe for Mary Tyler Moore Furnished by Norman Todd
Production Executive for MTM Productions: Lionel Ephraim
Trivia: Brett Somers, who plays Aunt Rose (magnificently), at the time was married to Jack Klugman. This is the first time we see the Morgenstern apartment, and there's no plastic on the furniture! "The Letter" was, in fact, the letter that writer Karyl Geld-Miller's mother wrote to her (word-for-word!) on the day she was born.
Rating: 90
Humor: 25
Writing: 23
Acting: 22
Story Concept: 20
Category: Top 10%.
Comment: An underrated episode that is surely one of the best. This is an extremely revealing and touching story. Revealing, with regard to the dynamics of the Rhoda/Ida "Bronxian Jewish love" relationship, and touching with regard to the sequence wherein Mary plays 'judge' and reads the letter that Ida wrote her the day she was born (Ida 'reads' the last heartwarming few lines). We learn just how much she loves her, despite all the bickering.
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