Episode 1.8
originally broadcast November 7, 1970
Written by David Davis and Lorenzo Music
Directed by Jay Sandrich
Storyline: It's mayorial election night in Minneapolis. Lou puts Mary in charge of the election night coverage by Ted. After receiving the first tally of 'Turner - 85, Mitchell - 23', WJM's teletype machine goes out due to a blizzard. Therefore, they can't receive any of the vote tallies from election headquarters. Ted is forced to ad-lib and wing it. The scheduled guests for the evening coverage of election night all cancel, and are replaced by Rhoda and a pedantic goofball priest named Father Flint. With many more on-air hours to kill, Ted finally resorts to singing "Danny Boy" and giving out his personal recipe for banana bread. When the news comes by word of mouth at 1 am the next morning that another local station declared Turner the victor and signed off, Ted threatens to do the same thing. However, feeling this unethical, Mary threatens to fire Ted if he announces Turner as the winner. At around 7 am, Chuckles the Clown shows up for his show broadcast at 8 am...yet a winner has not been declared. By this time, Ted has left the premises, and Chuckles announces that it is Mitchell who prevailed in the election.
Memorable Quotations/Exchanges:
(reading off of Ted's cue cards)
MURRAY: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Ted Baxter. Welcome to WJM's election night coverage and remember, we'll be on the air until a winner has been declared. Take off glasses, look concerned.
FLOOR MANAGER: You told me to put that stage direction in there!
MURRAY: Take it out.
TED: Oh, come on Murr! Leave it in! That's how I remember my motivation.
MURRAY: I don't mind how you remember your motivation, but it just frosts me when you read it over the air, like last night. 'Mississippi river rises, thousands flee homes, take off glasses, look concerned!'
TED: Well, I can explain that...when I took off my glasses to look concerned, I lost my place on the cue card.
RHODA: Mary, it's really coming down hard out there. You've got just fifteen minutes to get back. You want me to make you a cheese sandwich?
MARY: Oh yeah, great. I don't know what to wear!!
RHODA: Wear what you've got on.
MARY: I already wore that!
RHODA: Boy, I should have your job. You get to dress up to go to work! When you dress dummies in a department store window like I do, the big deal is every Monday morning when your smock is starched.
MARY: You don't know what it's like giving orders to Ted Baxter.
RHODA: Ted Baxter. Boy, is he gorgeous. Most people on TV are so homely. When Ted Baxter takes off his glasses and looks concerned...oh! I could die.
(phone rings)
MARY: Rhoda, could you get that?
RHODA: (in the kitchen now) You get it...it's probably for you. (Mary enters from the closet area wearing a fur coat) Hey, that fur coat is hip! Goes great with the fur shoes.
MARY: (to phone) Hello? Oh, that's terrible! Well, it seems like no matter how many precautions you take, sometimes you just can't avoid these things.
RHODA: Who's having a baby?
MARY: Okay, bye. That was our employment agency. Our extra girl refuses to come to work in the blizzard.
RHODA: What was she supposed to do for you?
MARY: Answer phones...
RHODA: I can answer phones...
MARY: And look good on television.
RHODA: I can answer phones.
MARY: Great, you're on. Uh, Rhoda, how is it possible to make a bad cheese sandwich?
RHODA: You were out of cheese, so I used yogurt.
TED: Can you tell us what time we'll wrap tonight?
MARY: I have no idea.
TED: Think it'll be before nine?
MARY: Well, we'll be here until we declare a winner. Why?
TED: Well, it's not too hard to understand...I like to go to bed early so I can get up early tomorrow so I can read the reviews about what I did tonight.
TED: But I'm dying out here! And I'm going to have to stand here on this mark, and that man is going to thrust his finger at me and I'm going to have to say... (on air) Welcome back to WJM's election night coverage.
LOU: Sorry, Mary, I can't let you drive the mobil unit.
MARY: I can learn!
LOU: Mary, I hate to tell you this, but the mobil unit is a truck. A big one!
MARY: I can still learn. It's like an H, right?
LOU: It's more like an H with a W in the middle of it with a T on the side. Sorry, Mary, you're still in charge. And will you stopping looking like that?
MARY: Like what?
LOU: Like you're posing for Radio Free Europe.
MARY: But I just feel so lonely.
LOU: Turn on the TV! That's always good company. (turns on TV)
TED: (on TV) Add an egg half a cup of walnuts, bake, and it makes for a good midnight snack.
LOU: He's doing recipes?! I'll hurry!
MARY: Doctor?
FATHER FLINT: Father!
MARY: Doctor Father?
FATHER FLINT: Father Flint.
MARY: I wasn't expecting to meet a priest!
FATHER FLINT: It's my turn to do sermonette.
MARY: We're having a little trouble here.
FATHER FLINT: I know, I know. I havent' seen a man suffer like that since Job.
MARY: Would you consider going on with him?
FATHER FLINT: Of course! I've always wanted to do a talk show.
MARY: Ted...
TED: What's he doing here? Do I look that bad?!
FATHER FLINT: It's okay, my dear boy, you're going to be alright. (to no one in particular) Now, where's my closeup camera?! Is my mark here?!
CREWMAN: In the chair, Father. Standby, we're coming out of commercial. ACTION!
TED: We're fortunate to have an old friend stop by while our phones are being repaired. I'd like you to meet Father....uh, Father....
FATHER FLINT: Father Flint!
TED: Father Flint. Tell me, Padre, now that you are here, there's a question that I'm sure our viewers would like answered. How long have you been interested in religion?
MURRAY: Looks like we're going to have to replace Father Flint!
MARY: Yeah, he sure lost a lot of wind after they sang "Danny Boy".
TAG
RHODA: (on the air; Ted is behind her, asleep in the chair) And so...I decided to pack my bags, leave New York and come here to Minneapolis. People ask me, 'Why Minneapolis?' and I reply, 'Why not?' Oh, I see it's time for a commercial. Ted and I will be right back after this brief message.
CHUCKLES THE CLOWN: What's going on?
MARY: Aren't you Chuckles the Clown?
CHUCKLES: No, I'm Walter Cronkite.
MARY: How did you get here?
CHUCKLES: I took the bus. It quit snowing about an hour ago. Listen, why are you guys still on the air? I have to go on in about a half hour, you know.
MARY: Well, we still haven't declared a winner.
CHUCKLES: Haven't you heard? (showing her a newspaper) Mitchell wins it! Turner concedes!
MARY: Listen, Ted is really in no position to go on...would you go on and announce the winner?
CHUCKLES: Chuckaluckabuckywuck! Just point Mister Camera at me! (on air) Hi, boys and girls! Our new mayor is Mister Mitchell! So, why don't we give him a really colossal Chuckles the Clown Club Cheer! Ready? Chucka luck, chucka luck, chucka luck luck luck. Lucka chuck, lucka chuck, lucka chuck chuck chuck!
LOU: Mary, whenever I put someone in charge, I never second guess them, that's my policy.
So, I'm not ever going to ask you why you put Ted Baxter in a clown suit!
Credits:
Associate Producer/Unit Production Manager: Lionel A. Ephraim
Music Composed and Conducted by Pat Williams
Theme Song "Love is All Around" Written and Sung by Sonny Curtis
Director of Photography: Paul Uhl
Film Editor: Douglas Hines, A.C.E.
Assistant Director: John C. Chulay
Art Director: Lewis E. Hurst, Jr.
Set Decorator: Raymond Boltz
Script Supervisor: Dorothy Aldworth
Title Visualization: Reza S. Badiyi
Assistant to Producers: Lorenzo Music
Camera Coordinator: Don Bustany
Music Editing: Ed Norton Music, Inc.
Makeup Artist: Ben Nye, II
Hair Stylist: Mary Keats
Men's Costumes: Don MacDonald
Women's Costumes: Leslie Hall
Wardrobe for Mary Tyler Moore Furnished by Evan-Picone
Men's Wardrobe Furnished by Palm Beach, Designed by John Weitz
Trivia: The "Turner vs. Mitchell" use of names was a tribute to Lloyd Turner and Gordon Mitchell, who were active TV writers and friends of Lorenzo Music and David Davis (who wrote this episode).
Rating: 50
Humor: 10
Writing: 10
Acting: 20
Story Concept: 10
Category: Top half
Comment: Nothing too special here, except for the debut of Chuckles the Clown by Valerie Harper's then-husband Richard Schaal. This is one of just two times that Chuckles is seen (the second appearance being in the fourth season, played by Mark Gordon), but he's mentioned in countless other episodes in one way or another until his demise early in the sixth season in "Chuckles Bites the Dust". We see Mary building self-confidence and esteem as Lou promotes her for an evening of directing the election night coverage. Of course, she couldn't really fire Ted, but she does stand her ground quite well and everyone, including her pal Rhoda, is amazed that she even threatens it! Listen closely in the tag for mention of Walter Cronkite who, like Chuckles, would be mentioned numerous times over the next seven years.
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