SEASON 6 QUOTATIONS
From Episode 6.10, "Lou Douses An Old Flame"
MURRAY: What kind of party did you have last night, Mair?
MARY: Oh, just a shower for Georgette. She and Ted got married so quickly, there wasn't time beforehand.
MURRAY: Did she get some good gifts?
MARY: Oh yeah. Linens, china, kitchenware...and an autographed copy of Sue Ann's new book on household hints.
SUE ANN: "How To Please a Man".
MURRAY: Well, like they say, those who can, 'do', and those who can't, 'teach'.
SUE ANN: Ahhhhh, Murray! Funny Murray! Witty Murray! (rubbing his head) Shiny Murray!
TED: I missed everything that goes along with the wedding.
MURRAY: Everything??!
SUE ANN: (patting him) I'll handle the risque thoughts, dear.
MARY: (entering Ted's dressing room) Ted, now that you're married, I need you to sign the W-4 forms again.
TED: I'm not in the signing mood, Ms. Richards.
GEORGETTE: He's still upset about you not giving him a bachelor party. He says he's entitled to it, it's his right as a stud.
LOU: I was sitting in my foxhole, eating chipped beef out of my helmet, when the letter came. I read it by the light of bursting shells. I still remember every word of it. You wanna hear it?
MARY: You ate chipped beef out of a helmet?
LOU: That's right, and after I finished reading the letter, I took the helmet full of chipped beef and emptied it on the head of the guy in the next foxhole. 'Dear Lou, How are you? I am fine. Lou, I have something very important to tell you. I know I said I loved you, and at the time I thought I meant it. But now I guess I really didn't. Otherwise, how could I have married somebody else yesterday? I'd send your engagement ring back to you but we were forced to sell it to pay for the honeymoon. I knew you'd understand, good luck with the war, Veronica.'
MARY: Mister Grant, you can not walk into a crowded French restaurant on a Saturday night with a helmet full of chipped beef and dump it over somebody's head.
LOU: You're right. I'd better make a reservation!
MARY: Well, everybody's here! This is supposed to be a bachelor party, so whaddya wanna do first?
SUE ANN: How about a game?!
TED: Great, let's play some games!
SUE ANN: I know a fascinating adult party game, it's called Nymphs and Sailors. You can go to jail just explaining the rules to somebody else!
MURRAY: Here's to Ted Baxter. Quite a guy. One of the world's great bachelors. You know, Ted, when you got married, you broke a lot of hearts. But don't worry, Georgette's family will soon get over it.
TED: Hahahaha, I love this!! It's like a Dean Martin roast! What about you, Lou?
LOU: I don't wanna give a toast, Ted.
TED: Oh, come on, Lou. Say whatever's on your mind!
LOU: (sputtering) Okay. Here's to the girls of your youth. The first girl you ever loved. To the things that might've been, and the things that never will be, throughout your whole life, until you DIE.
TED: I'm not gonna drink to that!!
MARY: (scolding) Could I see you in my bedroom? (they exit)
SUE ANN: (in shock) If I'd only known it was that easy!
LOU: Don't be ridiculous, Mary, I hate her!
MARY: I don't believe you. Methinks thou dost protest too much.
LOU: What did you just say?
MARY: I said I don't believe you.
LOU: No, no, the other part.
MARY: Oh, Mr. Grant, that's just an expression. You can't repeat that.
LOU: Yeah, you can!
MARY: I said...methinks thou dost protest too much.
LOU: You thinks that dost you?! Well, let me tell thee something, Mary...you're right.
LOU: Veronica?
VERONICA: Lou?
LOU: You haven't changed at all!
VERONICA: Oh, thank you! Thank you, Lou. You have.
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