SEASON 7 QUOTATIONS
From Episode 7.1, "Mary Midwife"
MURRAY: What'd they get you on, Sue Ann? Your height, your personality, or your age?
SUE ANN: If you really want an answer, I could write it backwards on your head and then you can read it in the mirror when you get home!
MARY: The doctor said that kind of cooking could kill a person!
MURRAY: Here, Ted! Take a pastry!
TED: Are you kidding? After what that doctor said? I'm not gonna put any more fat on my body.
MURRAY: Well, it all goes to your head anyway.
MARY: Georgette's almost due, isn't she?
TED: She'd better be. The last few months of pregnancy, ya can't even....well, ya can, but I mean...
MARY: Oh yeah, yeah, Ted. I understand.
TED: No wonder those Monks pray so much.
[Mary and Lou in his office; Mary has decided to confront him about his weight.]
LOU: First, let me help you with some of your faults. Mary, you've got chipmunk cheeks!
(Obviously she's angered by this, and sucks in her cheeks with a decisively evil eye)
MARY: Are you quite finished, Mr. Grant?
(Lou takes a big bite of the chocolate eclair)
MARY: You seem to have found some need...to hurt me because I tried to help you. (leaving the office) So, I'm just going to bear in mind that some people, when hurt, say things they can't possibly mean.
LOU: I hate it when you get classy.
MARY: How very unfortunate.
LOU: I am not fat!
MARY: You are too!
LOU: Okay, starting today, I'm fasting! No food! Now, is there anything else?
MARY: Yes, I came in here to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.
MURRAY: Georgette, how are you doing?
GEORGETTE: Pretty good, Murray! But I'm getting tired of getting kicked in the stomach by a stranger.
TED: Indian women are smart. They carry them on their backs, you know. (long, disbelieving silence follows)
LOU: Boy, doesn't this all look good! Hey Mary, tell me. Would a single raw carrot put any more ugly fat on me?
MARY: (deadpan) Not if you stuck it in your nose.
LOU: What did you say, Mary?
MARY: Nothing, I said nothing.
LOU: You see, fat people sometimes have hearing problems.
MARY: Will you stop it?!
MARY: (slightly hysterical) Ted, don't you think we should call a doctor, or something?
TED: Mary, I don't wanna slap you! Georgette, just tell me what your symptoms are.
GEORGETTE: It's okay now. For a second, it felt like my stomach got very pushed out and it was like somebody tied a belt around it really tight.
LOU: I had that, but Mary explained it to me.
MARY: You just don't quit, do you?!
SUE ANN: I didn't know the last stage of pregnancy could be so stimulating...almost as stimulating as the first!
TED: The doctor said this could drag on for days.
SUE ANN: Apparently he's been to Mary's parties. (this comment greatly angers Mary, who shoots Sue Ann a look)
GEORGETTE: Please, you're embarrassing me! If you let me ruin this party, I'll feel terrible. Let's go back and start up where we were.
MARY: Okay, what were we talking about?
LOU: Don't ask me! You see, fat people sometimes have poor memories! (Mary's disgusted again.)
MARY: No, Murray! A delivery room is no place for a woman (Lou carries a crying Ted out of Mary's bedroom-turned-delivery room.)
MURRAY: A baby is being born in Mary's bedroom!
SUE ANN: I know! And it's probably the most exciting thing that will ever happen in there!
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